Category: COMMENTARY

Jess and Ima were witnesses to an American-style “bullfight” on the street the other day; and it seemed that they were actual participants in this strange impromptu drama.

As Jess and Ima were headed out to get a quick lunch, they turned South on a street at the top of a hill, and immediately faced a young person, lying low on a powered vehicle of some sort, driving up the middle of this hilly street. The driver of this “vehicle” spied us in the path and we supposed that he imagined us as a “Snorting Bull”, challenging him to a Bullfight; what we interpreted as his move to get on his side of the road turned out to be a series of back and forth movements in front of our now stopped automobile. He was acting just like a Toreador in front of a bull, but for what purpose we were never sure. Stunned at what seemed to be an apparent “death wish”, we watched and waited as the “YOUNG TOREADOR” (as Ima named him) headed directly for our two-ton plus automobile which stood in his path. With a look of “I’m invincible” on his face (which we both interpreted as a look of “I’m a TOTAL FOOL”) he swerved at the last second and drove past us and disappeared over the hill. We sat there for a few seconds, considering the fact that had we moved inches left or right, the “YOUNG TOREADOR” would have been history, his parents never understanding just what happened, and our lives altered by what seemed to be such a foolish challenge. It made us wonder what had just happened and what we could do about it. We don’t know if his parents know or care, don’t know if he cared, don’t know if he thinks this is just another challenge to old folks to test himself, or if it really matters to anyone if another young male gets wiped out on the city streets. That foolish act made us hope he was not related to us! We still haven’t come to any conclusion but then we’re just two old PHOOLS, who don’t have any answers, only questions!

Erector-set giants stride across the landscape,
arms outstretched or upraised,
bearing cats-o-nine tails,
snake-haired Medusas.
Red-eyed bodies, moving on a nite highway
leaving white tracer rectangle trails of
square poots from gas-filled butts;
single, or multiple glowing eyes along the roadside
glare out their warning of detriment
to going there;
alien shapes glow to warn of something unknown.
Several hours in the dark of the Interstate
can be totally disorienting, hologram-like;
distorting what was once familiar
into grotesque mystery.
Ancient night sky compass, when referred to ,
restores perspective and stability until daylight.
Thank goodness for the daylight
when life returns to normal?

IMA c 1999

Mice and roaches have
gotten much older,
gotten much bolder
since I was a kid!
Used to be they would
only have nights out
with all the lights out,
and that’s when they did
their sneakin’ and
creepin’ and
their late-night peepin’
in search of white bread,
and jelly and fun.
It seems that lately
there’s nothin’ to stop them
from stalkin’ the kitchen
at dusk or at dawn.
Sprays have helped roaches
get a lot stronger
live a lot longer
in the roach motel.
Traps holding cheese got
dusty while waiting
for mice who want baiting
with D-Con. Please tell
me it’s not just that
I’ve gotten older,
they HAVE gotten bolder,
and picky, somehow.
What happens next?
Will vermin take over
While we run for cover
some years from now?

c IMA 1999

Did you wonder where Jess A. and Ima’s introduction went? We got a bit side-tracked and Jess took the time to post some of his pictures. We hope you enjoy viewing and thinking about them.

Meantime, we want to tell you a bit about the PHOOL PHAMILY and their story. The PHOOLS are like most ordinary phamilies — they have their quirks and foibles, if you know what we mean – and with a name like “PHOOL”, what do you expect!

Just so you know here’s a brief sketch of our phamily. JESS A.’s grandpa was JESS B SIMPLE; and JESS A.’s daddy took his mother’s last name (PHOOL); IMA was the granddaughter of MS UNDERSTOOD and MS UNDERSTOOD’s daughter, BEE married REE LEE SERIOUS, so IMA’S maiden name is SERIOUS.

JESS’s daddy is DASTARD LEE PHOOL and his uncle on his daddy’s side is MUSTABENNA and his aunt on his daddy’s side is NOE. (JESS A. and IMA call them UNCLE BEN and AUNT NOE, out of respect because they’ve lived with them off and on for several years and consider themselves a complete part of the PHOOL phamily). JESS A. has two brothers: IBENNA and EUASTA (who married TRIDABEE nee SERIOUS, who is IMA’s sister; and JESS A. has two sisters: EUALLA and WEESA.

IMA has one brother, CAIN B., and two sisters, YUSO and TRIDABEE (who, if you remember), married EUASTA PHOOL). JESS A. married IMA nee SERIOUS and they have two daughters: BEA A. and LILLO; and two sons: C.A. and UNO, who married WANDABEE nee GOODE and those two have twin boys: EUWANNABEE D. and EUGONNABEE D.

I wanted to mention that I ran into the notes I took when JESS and I tried to search for some of our relatives, (you know, following the 21st Century trend of looking up ancestors) so I thought I’d tell you who showed up. We found: NOTTA ; NEVAH BENNA ; LIL ; R.U.A. ; IZZIA ; B.A. ; C.D. ; MUSS B.A. ; SHEESA; REELIA ; OLE ; MISTAH ; IONA ; AND N.E.O. We haven’t quite figured out just who they belong to or where they fit in, but just because of their names we are quite willing to attest to the fact that they are really and truly PHOOLS. … Bye for now, IMA!