All the stockings are empty; all the batteries dead; the candy canes eaten; all hungry mouths fed...
It's the morning after Christmas at Number Fifty-Eight!
We'd finished with Christmas before it was eight,
but I said to Jess, "Hon' is it too late
to put up our Christmas tree?"
"What?" exclaimed Jess. As he walked out the door
(to go bowling with buddies), he queried "What for?"
"It was a gift", said I, "and we can't just ignore...
so let's put up our Christmas tree!"
There are beautiful ornaments up in the attic,
not dragging them out, not being dramatic,
It's not worth the effort, just being pragmatic
About doing a Christmas tree!
'No tree, and no in-attic crawling;
no up and down stairs with bags a-hauling;
no more pine needles falling.
Nope, no Christmas tree!
This year we'd decided, "NO TREE"!
'cause our space was so crowded we just couldn't see
where a Christmas tree could reasonable be,
but family, NO, Son, said "They need a tree."
So when space was cleared after doing the cards,
I said to Jess, "It won't be too hard
to set up the tree; it's been dragged from the yard
to the house." "Yeah, we'll see," said he!"
"You find me the stand and while you go bowling
I'll set up the tree and start the ball rolling.
I'll muster up spirit, put my heart and my soul in
to 'doing' the Christmas tree".
"Why are we doing this after the fact?
Christmas was yesterday, did you forget that?"
"Well the kids will be over and I don't want to act
like we just 'dissed' the gift Christmas tree."
Jess left to have fun, left me to have mine
I cleared out some space, arranged for some time
to figure out starting the assembly line
to put up the Christmas tree.
I dragged the tree up four steps from "THE ROOM"
grabbed the doorknob behind me and pulled it to,
but the latch didn't catch and the next thing I knew
I was heels over head in Christmas tree!
Thank goodness it was a net-covered tree;
I wasn't hurt, so I sprang to my knees;
In a second attempt I found I could see
my way to the living room with the tree.
Stuffed it into the stand, screwed in the holding screw
but when I'd let go it would suddenly spew
like a drunken sailor and that's when I knew
that one too many branches were on the tree.
So I pulled out my saw and started to whack
first one, then another, until looking back
I could see most of the branches had now been hacked
off our day-after Christmas tree.
What to do now, with this pile of green?
Biggest mess I'd ever seen!
I created a beautiful wreath of green
boughs from the Christmas tree.
I then took the broom, cleaned up the mess;
When Jess came home I was relieving my stress
with a glass of NOG and preparing to confess
to what had happened to the Christmas tree.
I don't remember what the kids said
when they came over and found the tree dead;
I do recall rationalizing, in my head
"Christmas was over, no need for a tree".
We cleared a table and drew chairs up,
poured some eggnog in everyone's cup.
We sipped and laughed and agreed that, "Yup...
we'd begin now to think about next year's tree!"
